There are a few times in life where an event happens and life as we know—changes. The good events we embrace with a smile, life is good. Yet, sometimes the events can be something that brings: anger, sadness and the question why? Depression may follow and then reflection. 2017 ended on the latter note for me. My world was turned upside down and I was left questioning everything I was doing. I could barely bring myself to re-live the story, yet every night I did when I tried to sleep. This was a moment in life where I found a line that I wouldn’t allow to be crossed anymore. Where words were directed to me that were so cruel and untrue–my life changed.
In those callous comments, I saw a person so weighed down in hate and anger, I realized I couldn’t be around this person anymore. There were lots of consequences for that stand, but I knew deep inside I had to be true to myself–and my husband came to the same conclusion. It was an event we lived through together–and stood together–focusing on our lives and what we had.
2018 began with hope peeking through. I reflected on the lessons learned. I may have been hurt, but I have been reminded to look for the magic. That is exactly what I am going to do by letting go of a person who blocked my view of it. I have only let a few people go in my life, and each time I walked away stronger, wiser and still full of love.
Finding my way to this reflective state took some processing. Poetry is one way to work through it. There are a few poems that no one will ever see, but they were healing for me. Many other poems made it into my poetry book I am working on, “Just Her Poetry”. Here is a poem I wrote in this time frame:
Who is right…
Who is wrong…
Is it that simple?
When actions speak louder–
Than shouted words.
Sometimes only reflection
Brings that clarity
The answer is there
And ultimately it doesn’t matter
Who was right…
Who was wrong…
Only the solution does.
A poem written last fall and a part of my life I will be focusing on this year. Thanks to a thoughtful gift I received for Christmas, I will be doing this with a new blue journal that fits perfectly in my pocket.
The river flows in beauty
Rushing in the opposite direction
That our journey takes us.
The sweet smells surround
As we ride above it all
On our motorized freedom.
The river rushes down its rocky path
The sun reflects the stony bottom
Campers stake their tents next to it
The trees become walls
Reminding me of a house
And we are welcomed visitors
On our motorcycle ride.
Always embrace your inner child– and all the magic life has to give! Denise D.L. Finn