In darkness there is light…

journal on harley

What do you do when you are faced with a loss that changes your life forever? Whether it be a death, end of a marriage, job loss, health issues, destruction of home, or an event that rips apart your family? All you’ve believed in is gone. There are many feelings that go along with this: sadness, anger, fear, shock, hopelessness, grief and depression. You may be at a loss what to do next—frozen in fear or anger. The change forced upon you is not welcomed. Instead it shakes up your world, nothing is the same from that moment. People you have depended on may disappear or some one new is suddenly there for you. We all face this in our lives. It seems cruel and we think we’ll never get through it. We question everything. We ask why but get no real answers. At this point we can give up or go on. It becomes a time to pull back and reassess our lives whether we like it or not.

I’ve been there more than once, but recently an event knocked me down so hard…nothing was the same. There has been no positive resolution. What had held me up for years—disappeared. Yet, I am not alone, I have my husband by my side, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, my words to express myself and a life ahead of me. Gone, is the past where caretaking, raising kids and always being there for everyone else filled my hours. During these times, I forgot about myself. This event opened my eyes to that. Some days, I see that in a very clear understanding, other days I’m flooded in pain and tears. It’s those darker days that I question each word said and every perspective of the same event. I grieve the victims of cruelty and pride while the truth goes un-honored. I’ve also uncovered years of anger repressed deep inside me and found doubt in my beliefs.

It’s been a dark journey back to my faith with the victims just out of my reach. In this sorrow I’ve found that glimmer of light again inside me. I’m gently reminded of who I am and what life can still be. I’m searching for the message and lesson. My past intact, my happy memories cannot be taken from me.

Now, I’m spending my time trying to release my sadness and pain so there is room for love and joy again. I sit in nature connecting to the higher power and found myself back in Church. I’m going forward knowing it will all be different in the future. Change comes hard and lessons come even harder, but my journey goes on with a hard nudge into my new direction. Pushed from my safe place I walk with faith into the unknown. I had to let go of what I thought should be and embrace what is.

Here now, I take a deep breath and move into the unfamiliar knowing somehow it will be okay. Because like the seasons going on around me, inside of me I’m leaving the cold dark winter behind and stepping into spring’s regrowth. My soul is healing and growing into its new direction. Through the pain I have found my spiritual path again and I am reminded of all the miracles.


 

Upcoming blogs will include more book reviews and debuting some of my new poetry– perhaps one written in the blue journal on a Harley ride!

There will be a special edition blog Wednesday. Check it out!

Embrace your inner child by reading an amazing indie book! D.L. Finn

Author: D.L Finn, Author

D.L. Finn is an independent California local, who encourages everyone to embrace their inner child. She was born and raised in the foggy Bay Area, but in 1990 relocated with her husband, kids, dogs and cats to the Sierra foothills in Nevada City, CA. She immersed herself in reading all types of books, but especially loved romance, horror and fantasy. She always treasured creating her own reality on paper. Finally, being surrounded by towering pines, oaks and cedars, her creativity was cradled until it bloomed. Her creations vary from children’s books, young adult fantasy, adult paranormal romance to an autobiography with poetry. She continues on her adventure with an open invitation to her readers to join her.

30 thoughts on “In darkness there is light…”

  1. You said within the darkness, there is light, and I know that to be true. Even in our darkest hour, we can find something positive to hold on to, whether it is nothing more than a bask in sunshine, or walk in a park or down a country lane. Thank you for sharing, Denise. Life is a roller coaster ride. Highs, lows and in-betweens keep us on our toes. Hugs, sweet friend.

    1. Thanks, Jan. Yes, always have to keep looking for that positive in the mist of that darkness. Life certainly is like a roller coaster ride, and you never know when the big drop will be or the next turn. Does keep us on our toes, for sure! Hugs back to you.

  2. I’m glad you’re finding your way back to your own renewal. It’s rough when life takes a cannon shot at us. Faith gets me through the hurdles and reminds me that I’m not alone no matter how dark the tide. Wishing you strength, peace and blessings!

    1. Thank you, Mae I am finding my way back slowly. Yes, life does point a cannon at us at times, but you are right faith gets us through and tells us when its time to duck and time to move on. We are definitely not alone and this was a good reminder for me. Sending blessing back to you, too.

    1. Thank you Staci! I think speaking lets us all know we aren’t alone ever. Hugs back to you.

  3. The demons of darkness overwhelm us at times, and I’m so sorry you have suffered its despair and desperation…
    I’m happy you have rejoined your Faith, for it’s my belief that we do not suffer the vagaries of life without ultimately sharing a common happiness in the great Light of Souls. You are beautiful of Soul and you are Loved… ♥♥♥

    1. Yes, the demons of darkness do overwhelm us at times, perfectly put, Billy! I am happy it brought me back to my faith so strongly again, too. I love finding that common happiness in the great Light of Souls another great image. You are a beautiful soul as well and equally as loved. Thanks for your beautiful response– I appreciate it and you.

  4. Thank you for your honesty. Too many of us walk around and pretend things are okay, when they really are not. Life hits everyone hard at times, but your strength,faith, family and friends will uphold you. Keep on!

    1. Yes, I can go on pretending for a while as well, but then I do have to be honest to move forward. Life does hit us all at one point or another and then we get reminded of our faith and those who hold us up. We all have to keep on for sure! Thanks, Mark:)

    1. Thank you John. That means a lot to me! Yes, faith is worth counting on and I know that but tend to forget sometimes….this was a big reminder. I won’t forget again! Hugs back to you.

  5. I appreciate you sharing your perspective on life and faith. And I love your blog. You have a thing for dolphins. They are beautiful creatures.

    1. Thank you Shirley the tough times can sure strength our faith can’t they? Yes, I do have a things for dolphins I admit:) Why I have the name I use!

  6. Oh, Denise, I’m so sorry you’ve had to climb this rocky path. But, I’m relieved you’ve rediscovered your faith. Hold tight, it can gentle the harshness and fill your heart with peace. Blessings dear friend. ♥

  7. Thank you Gwen. It certainly seems like a path we all have to walk on at times in our lives. I am very glad to found that faith again that I was too busy to pay much attention to even if all the little miracles going on around me. Thank you I am holding tight and it is helping having that faith back so strong again. Blessing back to you.

  8. It’s tough to get through such things that shake up our world, but you move forward, searching for the light on the other side. Good luck in your journey back to where the world is steady again for you, Denise. You will be stronger and more resilient than you started, because we survive <3

    1. Thank you Julie! I am finding my way back. I love how you worded it: to where the world is steady again for you. Perfect image in going forward. Yes we are better for having survived.

Leave a Reply