little tree

I decided to start this year off right by borrowing an idea from a fellow writer, Jan Sikes. I picked a word/theme for 2019; then several family members also chose a card from my cat tarot card deck. My husband got “clan/family/love”, my daughter “do what is right for you,” my son “use both your head and heart.” It fit them perfectly for the life path they are on. The card I chose had a strong message for me. It talked about being a leader/lead and trust. Note: As an introvert, this was not a welcome message.

Here’s the definition of Leader found in dictionary.com:


a person or thing that leads.

A guiding or directing head, as of an army, movement, or political group.


A conductor or director, as of an orchestra, band, or chorus.

The player at the head of the first violins in an orchestra, the principal cornetist in a band, or the principal soprano in a chorus, to whom any incidental solos are usually assigned.

I’m not the leader type, but I will do what needs to be done. I raised kids, took care of relatives and if I saw something needed to be done, I did it.  But I’m not the person jumping in to lead a group, in the army or have aspirations to be in politics. I’m not in a band or a conductor either. So, why did I get this?

My first thought was Hero Girl in the holiday movie “Polar Express” that I had just watched with my grandkids a few weeks ago. Her message, in the end, was to lead. She made sure the shy boy in the back of the train got hot chocolate. Or she took charge when no one knew which way to go at the North Pole to find their way back to the group. It’s not that she always had the answers either, she questioned herself when pressed if she knew what lever to pull to the stop the train. But she decided to trust herself and was right. She was confident and kind. She didn’t follow others blindly. Still, how does a Christmas movie apply to me?

Well, I know I shouldn’t blindly follow others, especially those who want to lead society and people in a dark direction. As a writer that means to lead with my heart and do what I’m supposed to be doing, not to worry about what is selling, what others are doing, or how to make money off these people.

When I lead myself in the right direction, I might or might not be alone where I’m going. When I don’t engage in all the negativity that we are surrounded in our world, that bleeds into our homes, I become a role model to my family, friends, and society. To take care of myself not only leads me in a better direction while I learn from my mistakes. I guess that is where that card is trying to lead me to–an example to family, as an author and to myself. To do this as the person, I am. It’s easy to withdraw from the world and think none of that is my problem, but I believe that everyone is responsible for their actions, as am I. To accept responsibility for all your actions is what I consider Karma. To walk forward in whatever awaits is to lead, either just me or others it doesn’t matter.

I didn’t get the card I had hoped for this year. That one that would tell me to relax and play — not this time. It’s going to be a year to work and try a lot of new things. I’ll see where this all goes. There’s no resolutions for me, only acceptance of what is and what can be as I embrace leading on a journey of self-discovery.

Note: There will be a special edition blog Tuesday. Don’t miss it! I’ll have my January Newsletter out early this month, later this week. Check your email if you are subscribed.

Embrace your inner child by reading a good book. D.L. Finn


25 thoughts on “Leader”

  1. Beautiful reflection, Denise. I think the strongest leaders are those who quietly point the way by living their beliefs. You’re an amazing leader, my friend. 🙂

    1. I do try to live by my beliefs most of the time. I have my moments still. Thank you Gwen for your kind words. I do think you are right about the strongest being the quiet ones living by their beliefs. I think of you when you say that.

    1. Thanks Billy! I hope its a well-lived life:) I’ve met a lot of leaders since I joined RRBC and you are one of them, too.

  2. I enjoyed this discussion, Denise. Watching you take chances and succeed in your writing only confirms for me that you are a leader. Keep setting that bar higher. You raise all of us when you do.

    1. Thanks, John:) I see this really applies to all of us putting our work out there. We all raise the bar for each other. That makes me smile.

  3. The greatest journey we ever undertake is the one of self discovery. It is a life-long commitment we make to ourselves. Making that journey in the company of a sweet and giving nature can be exhausting and at times may force us to pause along that highway. Those pauses are essential to our physical and emotional well being, they allow us to reflect deeply on which fork in the road we choose to travel down. Leading by example is an attribute we all should aspire to. You clearly have done and will continue to do so, my friend. This year heralds new horizons to explore. I look forward to following your journey.❤️️

    1. I look forward to following your journey, too Soooz, thank you:) You are right about it being a life-long commitment for sure! I think this last year was my pause and reexamine my life part of it. I always seem to take the road with the most difficulty, but the most rewards later. We are all on this journey through our writing, and I’m very glad to be in such amazing company!

  4. Wonderful reflections and thoughts, Denise. I think we go through passages in our lives and are often pushed into roles outside of our comfort zones. Sometimes those are the greatest learning experiences of all.

    I can’t wait to see what your special blog post is. Looking forward to it! 🙂

    1. Thank you Mae. Yes, being pushed out of comfortable roles is hard. I always declare at first I won’t do that and I end up doing just that. But, I get back all the good and bad to learn from. So it ends up being worth all my worry going into it. I think about you talking about doing a speech and how you didn’t like to do that but it turned out well. My first thought was no way I’d do that. Of course I know at some point I will…lol.

      1. LOL! Yes, I think you will too. And the next time I have to give an author speech, I’m sure I’ll be every bit as nervous—and giddily happy I did it when I’m done 🙂

  5. Parenting is the most important leadership role anyone can be in, and you have proven that you can do that. You are already a leader. It also takes an enormous amount of courage to put words to paper/screen and share them with the world. Therefore, you are a courageous leader. 🙂

    1. I agree Mark that parenting is the most important role and requires leadership. We are all courageous putting our words and heart out there for all to see. It’s been eye opening for me to really think about lead and leadership and how it applies daily in not only my life but others. Thanks:)

  6. Denise, You set a great example for us with your behaviour here and via the social network.

    Leadership can mean many things, and your taking initiative is a strong sign of it.


    1. Thank you Eden:) It can mean so many things and getting this word gave me a lot to think about. I have found an amazing group of like- minded people, including you which is pretty amazing and inspiring to me.

  7. Oh, Denise, I am so glad you decided to write about your card. And, how awesome that your family also drew cards. It’s an amazing process and the cards never lie. Yes, this is to be a year of leadership for you. We never know what is around the next corner, so trying to interpret a card based on what we know today is always just the tip of the iceberg. I, for one, will be watching to see how your leadership role grows and flourishes throughout the year!! I love this SO much and thanks for the mention. Hugs!

    1. Thanks for the sharing your experiences with it Jan! It’s almost chilling to me just how accurate it is. You are so right we never know what’s coming, no matter how we try to plan, it never works. True it’s even harder to interpret the actual meaning until later. I just go with what my gut it telling me and see what happens. Will be fun to see how it works out for– both of us:)

  8. Hi Denise! I believe what you described as a leader is what truly makes a leader. The fact that you understand that signifies that you’re off to a great start. Nothing worthwhile is easy. I wish you all the best on your journey to self discovery. Thanks for sharing❣️

    1. Thanks Vashti:) So true that nothing worthwhile seems to ever be easy, I agree. Self discovery at the top of that list. We are all leaders in our words and its an incredible world to be in.

  9. This is so wonderful. Thoughtful. And there are so many ways to “lead”, and being an example of light when so much darkness threatens is definitely a way to lead. The universe sent you the right card, I think 🙂 Continue to be a bright you!

    1. Thank you Julie! You are very right there are so many ways to lead. Not the card I would have chosen for myself, but it is one I can see I needed right now. Hope you have an amazing weekend:)

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