Here’s Suzanne Burke’s ‘Fiction in a Flash Challenge 2021’ Week #42.
I did another 99-word story for the picture below.
Photo by Marka Merka on Unsplash
WHEN THE CLOCK STOPPED
The delicate porcelain clock trimmed in gold had stopped running at exactly 4:08 a.m.—when I took my first breath.
“You were my miracle.” Mother would say, dusting the clock no one was allowed to touch.
Now it sits on my mantel. My grandson tried to fix it, but the motor, and the clock’s arms, wouldn’t budge.
Today I woke up feeling unwell. I picked up the phone to call my doctor when I heard a gentle ticking. The clock was running.
Then, everything disappeared into a golden glow, and I found myself gathered in my mother’s arms again.
Very nice, especially considering the restricted word count. I found myself wanting to add a word here or there, and then I remembered–nope, 99 words. And you encapsulated an entire life into it. Go you. : )
Thanks, Cathleen. I wanted to add those words too. It’s tough, but I’ll keep working at it until I don’t notice that too. I’m enjoying getting as much as I can into that limit.
That is haunting. I loved “Grandfather’s Clock”, memorized it without even trying. This one adds more depth.
Thanks, Jacqui:) Is “Grandfather Clock” as story or poem? I haven’t heard of it or forgotten about it if I had.
Great Denise. I loved the ending.
Thanks, John I enjoyed taking that full circle:)
I loved this story, Denise. Beautifully done, especially given the word count constraints.
Thank you, Staci 🙂 It’s a challenge to make it all flow.
Fantastic, Denise! What a great connection.
Thanks, Jan 🙂 xo
A rich story about the intersection of life and death, told so beautifully in only 99 words. Great job, Denise. xo
eden
Thank you, Eden. It’s quite a challenge to get it all in with the limits:)
You nailed this one beautifully, Denise. The circle is complete. Thanks so much for taking part again. I have just shared this on my blog. 😊
Thank you, Soooz. Another great image to find that circle of life.
😊
Oh my, Denise, just imagine this. I would not want to relive my whole life again. Imagine being a teenager again!
Never would I want to relive my life again! I’m happy at the point I’m at:)
The clock resumes ticking and to be in mother’s arms again. The circle of life can be beautiful. Well done, Denise! <3
That’s amazing with a limited word count.
Thank you, Craig. I’m enjoying that challenge of limited words.
A lovely story, Denise, and a bit of a twist to the clock stopping and starting again. Sort of the opposite of what we’d imagine, as if the true life is outside the body. Very creative take on the prompt!
Thanks, Diana:) Yes, we would imagine the clock moving during our lives. But if it moved on after it could very well be when it really begins. Xo
I loved that twist. 😀
🙂
I love this piece. It reminds me of a song my mother taught me, about a grandfather clock who shared the life span of a man.
Thank you, Mark 🙂 I wonder if your song is the same as Jacqui’s “Grandfather Clock.”
You’re welcome, Denise. Perhaps it is. I was quite young when she taught it to me. Have a great weekend. 🙂