I have been editing my current book, “A Voice in the Silence,” for what seems like forever! It was written during my first NaNoWriMo a couple of years back, with the idea of putting everything I could think of into it. I completed the challenge but was left with a mess.
I pulled all my ideas together, even adding something that fixed what I thought was a long, boring ending. I don’t think I’ve ever been in the editing phase this long, nor had the high levels of anxiety I’ve felt with this book.
When starting something new, I normally jump right into something and feel confident about my direction. This isn’t one of those times.
So, I keep going over this story and still finding little things to fix. I’ve put off thinking about a cover or writing the blurb. And I continue editing hoping to get it to a point where I feel like I can share it with some amazing beta readers that I know will be honest if anything doesn’t work.
My incredible critique group has gone over the first half of it and helped tighten it up, fix the glaring errors, and offer encouragement.
Yet, the anxiety was still there.
I reflected on that and came up with some reasonable conclusions. The last two years of fear and hate in our societies have bled over into my safe writing world and stirred up emotions I thought I had left in my past. Then there is the perfection I’m striving for from myself with this story while taking a step out of my comfort zone. The mixture of these things has made me question myself.
What seemed second nature to me, I’m now second-guessing everything as I learn how to improve my writing skills. It reminds me of when I first learned to drive a car. All the things I had to think about at first became so normal later.
There were days I wondered why I was doing this to myself. Luckily I was born in the tiger year and that helped feed my stubborn side and kept me going. My turning point came when I realized I couldn’t control the world outside of myself.
Like I mentioned in the last poem I shared here, the messages are powerful and abundant in my life. I forgot how to trust myself, pay attention to the little things, and take a leap of faith. I’m applying that not only to myself but to my writing.
It’s a big step to keep learning and growing while moving forward in my truth. The anxiety might keep trying to creep back in, but I know I’m doing what I am supposed to and telling the story I was meant to share. That is all we can do as writers and human beings.
Embrace that inner child and share its knowledge! D. L. Finn
D.L. I hear you, fellow Tigress 🐅 and applaud you. The story given to you to share: please share it. And know that I’m being encouraged by your words.
Stay true to your lovely soul and soar. I wish you miracles xoxo
Thank you, Selma 🙂 We do have to share the stories we’ve been given, no matter what the journey brings us. Since its our year I know the miracles surround us to soar if we only let them. Hugs xo
All the best!
Your words and struggles resonate with me. I wonder how many of us have been affected in similar ways this last two years or so? It’s great that you’ve kept on going. Good luck, Denise 💕🙂
I’m cheering you on, Denise. It sounds like you’ve turned a corner (haha, as a writer, I guess you’ve turned a page). The book is going to be fabulous!
Thank you, Priscilla 🙂 Definitely turned that page…lol. Heading to that ending.
It’s reassuring to realize we all struggle in our own ways through these strange times. All we can do us move forward at our own pace with the support of this amazing writing community. Thank you, Harmony 🙂
I think COVID has affected all of us in one way or another. The world as we knew it changed. Those who work in healthcare are COVID weary. When I look back at my 2020 word count, I know it affected my writing.
Taking that leap of faith and moving forward isn’t always easy, but I’m confident you can do it, Denise!
Yes, it has definitely effected one way or another. Working in healthcare would be where the most toll has been taken. Taking that leap of faith has become harder be not impossible to do. Thank you, Joan for the encouragement.
Thank you for embracing your vulnerability and sharing your struggles, Denise. You know that I’ve been struggling as well in my writing. Words that used to flow so easily are sitting bumper-to-bumper in the writing slow lane. It is our determination to not give up and to continue to pursue our passion that enables us to persist in getting that story onto the page. I’m happy you are continuing with this story because I know it’s going to be enjoyed by everyone who reads it. 🙂
I tend to struggle quietly until I finally realize I’m not the only one doing it. Brilliant way to describe it as sitting in traffic. Once the obstacles are cleared it will all flow again. It’s really helped you and Patty are in your tow trucks clearing the path! Thank you, Yvette xo
Haha! I’ll be your tow truck any time, Denise. 😉
Thanks, I will do the same for you too!
I’m so sorry you’re struggling, Denise. Just remember that whenever you step out of your comfort zone you’re experiencing growth by tackling a new challenge. You can do this!! Doubt is a nasty nagging voice that gets to all of us, but I have confidence you’ll shut it down and move ahead. Given the amount of time you’ve invested and how much this work means to you, you were clearly meant to write this book! 🙂❤️💕
Thank you, Mae 🙂 I appreciate your support! Growth is never easy but much better than doing nothing at all and becoming stagnant. I do miss the angels but have become fond of the the unusual animals 😉 It definitely is an idea that has been in the back of my mind for a long time.
I like the portion of grit this post contains. You can do it, and grit is used to polish things.
Oh, I like that idea of grit polishing things, especially those rocks 🙂 Sometimes you have to leave it that rock tumbler just a while longer to get that shine. Thanks, Craig.
Your journey is mine as well, and I suspect it is that of many writers. I finished a manuscript last year at this time, but have set it aside and worked on another – slowly, arduously. I deeply admire your determination, Denise, theTigress in you. My animal year is the dog and I think it has decided to take a long rest. 😊
I think you are right it’s a journey many of us have been on. The only reason I’ve had books to release lately is because they were already written long in the past. I’ve thought about putting it down recently and moving on to something else, but realized I did after I wrote it already. My son is a dog too, he’s been in a very reflective stage that includes some good rest 🙂 That tigress is definitely making her presence known so far this year.
I think you make an excellent point about the last two years. We have had too much time with ourselves and the questions raised as a result have probably been answered long ago. Great post, Denise.
Way too much relflection when moving forward was what was needed. Definitely interesting times. Thanks, John:)
Gotta tell yourself to bug off. 😁
🙂
What a great learning curve. It sounds like you flattened that ****! I’ve had a similar problem with my latest book–eerily similar–and am going to try your approach. Thanks.
It was a great learning curve. Its not only flattened but stamped out…lol. I have a feeling this is a common is due right now. Hopefully it will pass and lots of good reading is ahead 😉
I can relate to your feelings Denise… fears and doubts sit like boulders when we try to come out of our comfort zone but we know we can jump over them. I admire your determination. Keep going my friend. Wishing you all the best.
The fear and doubt does feel like a boulder at times, Balroop. It’s always hard to get out of that comfort zone for sure. Thank you for the encouragement! Xo
I think the anxiety is a sign that you’re invested in your craft. (It doesn’t make it easier to deal with, though.) I look forward to your post when you breathe a sigh of relief and everything is done to your satisfaction.
No, your right it doesn’t make it easy but definitely means you are invested for sure! Thank you, Staci, I look forward to that monent too! Xo
I love this post, Denise. It’s raw and honest. When you think about everything being or having energy, you are so right about how COVID has bled over into every aspects of our lives, including writing. I am so glad you are sticking with it and pushing forward! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Jan 🙂 The energy has been so heavy it has entered all aspects of our lives, including writing. But yiu are very right there us that light guiding us ahead. Somedays its easier to see than others, but moving toward it is a journey I’m glad to be on! Xo
Denise, I feel every bit of this post. It’s a little crazy to think about how easy it is for us to put words to paper. To create these incredible stories, characters, and worlds. But then, when it comes time for the editing and the final touches, we’re met with the most awful anxiety and fear. But as you said in your post, at the end of the day, it’s about doing what we love and fulfilling our purpose. I, for one, cannot wait to read A Voice in the Silence. The title alone is beautiful. You’ve got this!! <3
The creative part is wonderful, but getting into the reality of editing and then thinking about marketing does stir up the fear and anxiety. I had this title for this story originally but moved it to a following NaNoWri story. Yet, trying to give this story another title didn’t work, so I took this title back for this story! Thank you, Mar I appreciate your support 🙂
Sometimes, I think it’s the hardest story we write that carries the most weight. I’m proud of you for carrying on and not giving up <3
You may be right about that, Jacquie. I dabbled with some unique animals, which I loved doing. Thank you, Jacquie and for your support xoxo
I’m glad you’re tackling this story, Denise, and it will be a great story when it’s ready. I’ve long been convinced our furry friends understand us and know a lot more than we imagine. I like where you’re going with this. Your struggles are all too familiar. I only wish I had stories already written that I can apply everything I’m learning to. We grow in the valleys, my friend, and we have to navigate the valleys to get to the shining mountain top. You’re heading to the top. Keep going.
Thank you, Patty. You and Yvette had been a big part of getting me there. Plus, a good dose of laughter thrown in! So true about growing in the valleys to get to the shinning mountain top. Hugs
Growth is hardly ever smooth and easy for me. I sympathize with your growing pains. Hope they get you to where you want to be. Good luck!
Thank you, Judi 🙂 It isn’t easy but do worth it to move forward.
I can’t wait to see this story. I know it’s going to be amazing.
You are learning and growing, and it shows in your writing.
Hugs
Thank you, Sandra. I’m getting there.. so soon. Hugs back xo
I still have my first NaNo draft. It’s wonderful that you’re revisiting yours, Denise! Best wishes to you!
Thanks, Miriam 🙂 I hope you nake it to yours when you are ready!